My beautiful baby is ONE WEEK!

Day 8 (ROMAN IS ONE WEEK!)

Another VERY VERY hard night. So bad Mommy had to just hand you to Daddy while she went to your nursery and rocked herself while she called Nana. She cried to Nana and Nana talked her down and prayed with her. I gave in and just held you in bed and tried my best to sleep (you slept awesome) for three hours. That helped me feel slightly rested but then you still wouldn’t sleep after the feeding for another almost two hours til your next feeding! Finally at 8am Daddy (who had slept while I was holding/feeding you) took you downstairs and rocked you and let you sleep in your swing for an hour and a half. Then when you woke up he rocked you again and watched Cars with you. Mommy slept wonderfully but RIGHT at your next feeding time I woke up.

After feeding you I laid you in your crib and let you watch your mobile. You only fussed some but it took you about 30 minutes to fall asleep then you slept for almost two hours! I want to put you in the crib tonight but our video monitor doesn’t work and I’m so terrified you’ll choke or stop breathing and I wouldn’t know it. Definitely investing in lots of high tech stuff now! I never thought I'd be like that with my own baby. Same with letting you "cry it out"- I've never had a problem with other babies crying it out but hearing you breaks my heart and makes me feel this guilt like I never knew exsisted.

Met with lactation consultant- Heidi Smith- who was wonderful. She helped show Mommy a better way to get you latch on so you didn’t hurt me as much and so you would swallow more. We are still practicing but we’ll get the hang of it! After she left Daddy went to change you upstairs and once again I heard more yells from him. I ran up the stairs and you had peed in your own face!!! He was so scared that you were blinded but we just wiped you down with wipes and got you changed up and you were happy as could be.

Went on another shopping trip today to look for a video monitor. No luck. We will find one ASAP though…in the meantime I was given lots of advice that we are going to try tonight. As I type you are laying on the couch sleeping so I’m hoping you’ll be slightly better tonight (a 2 hr stretch is all I’m asking for). It’s very hard to watch or listen to you cry and it makes me cry over and over but just looking at you makes me feel so amazing. You are so beautiful in every way. I love you more than I ever thought possible. We will get through this!

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Roman is 6 Days old!

Nursed 950-1005/1015-1030. Even after the awful night Mommy’s heart still swelled when she saw you awake and alert in the morning. I love you so much! After you finished nursing Daddy brought up some cereal for himself and coffee for Mommy and we all laid in bed and snuggled. We had you in your boppy and we just watched you watching us. I still say you’re better than ANY tv show or movie! Then we took you into your nursery for play time. First you laid on your back and watched your mobile then we switched you to your tummy to get a work out. Daddy talked to you and took pictures and told you to work on your push ups. After you had enough (over an hour and a half of awake time!) you snuggled on Mommy’s chest pretty much the entire afternoon. We did put you in your swing for the first time and you loved it. It knocked you out pretty fast. After dinner and your 7pm feeding Daddy gave you your first sponge bath. Mommy was in living room and all she heard was Daddy yelling “AH! AH! KEELEY! AH!” and when I ran in there you were peeing everywhere- shooting up like a yellow fountain! Daddy was backed as far away from you scared as could be!!  Mommy realized it would have probably been best if she did first bath to show Daddy how but oh well. I showed him how to wash you quickly and keep the water warm and thankfully you didn’t pee again. Afterwards Daddy took you upstairs to lotion you up and dress you then he laid you in your crib for another round of tummy time.

Later on we came back downstairs and you played in your bouncy with Daddy again and cuddled on him (since Mommy “hogged” you all afternoon). A beautiful day and it’s all because you’re in our life!

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Roman is home and 5 days old!

Day 6 (Roman is 5 Days Old)

This morning we got to go home! They released us in the morning and we got out of there as fast as we can. We were so so excited to take you to your first home and all be there together as a family. We dressed you in the only newborn sleeper we had- a gift from Tia Gina- with adorable puppy dog feet. You are even more precious than I knew. When we first put you in the car seat you fussed because you didn’t want to be messed with but as soon as we stopped messing with you you just passed right out- snug as a bug in a rug! You had car seat straps with monkey heads on them that you clutched the whole time- looked like you were squeezing your boobies ;-) I loved walking through the hospital with you and people smiling as they stared at our amazing family. It made me feel so proud- Daddy too. We made you!! After snapping some pictures and getting you into the car Daddy drove us carefully home. He joked that he was only going to go 10km but he went the speed limit- he was just very cautious about other drivers! You slept the whole time. First we stopped at the mail room and you fussed some so we decided to go on home so I could feed you.

Our first feeding at home went well but I cried the whole time because it hit me that you are mine. They actually let me keep you! And it hit me that I didn’t have a nurse at the push of a button to come reassure me that you are ok…I’m so scared I’ll do something wrong or something bad will happen to you. Or to me or Daddy. I don’t want any of us to ever be separated. Mommy decided then and there that Daddy is getting out of the Army in 2014 even if it means she has to support us for awhile!

After the feeding our friend Nancy stopped by with a cake, cupcakes, and cookies! They were so yummy. She held you and we shared delivery stories. When she left we took you shopping for the first time to the PX for some newborn clothes! We weren’t expecting you to be so teeny! Again you loved the car seat and were a perfect baby at the PX. When we got home Mommy was starving but so were you- and you won. Daddy made us spaghetti and ate while I fed you then we switched. He put you in your bouncy seat and talked to you. He also took a video of you (where you look JUST like him when he was a baby) and tried to call Nanna to tell her about it. It still melts my heart seeing the love he haves for you.

You first night at home…was not easy. We fed you at 925-950 & 1015-1020 (after diaper), 1155-1210 (right after we crawled in bed), 125-145, you fussed at 2am but mommy let you fuss back to sleep (about 5 mins), woke at 3 and fussed/cried (mommy kept putting in paci but it falling out. My arm was killing me from leaning over your portacrib) til 4 when we nursed 4-415 &420-430, 640-650 &655-705 & 710-720 (kept falling asleep, changed diaper, etc) then slept til 9:50! Phew!!

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Roman is 4 Days Old!

Day 5:

Busy day in Roman’s life! This morning after your 9am feeding you were nice and awake but since Mommy had to go see the Dr you had to go to the nursery. When I left you, you were just looking all around and studying everything you saw. When I picked you up about thirty minutes later you were the same way! Such a smart baby.
After lunch our chaplain- Mijikai Mason- came to visit. He came right as I was cleaning up from feeding you so he had to wait a few minutes. When he came in he admired your tiny body and your beautiful name. After only a minute the nurse came to take us to get you circumcised but Ch. Mason held you and said a blessing over you. Mommy felt much better about that.

This afternoon you were circumcised. Mommy was alone because Daddy had to go back into work to do some paperwork and she felt SO bad. She fought back tears the entire walk to the urologist and in the waiting room. You were a happy baby but Mommy was a wreck. I kept rubbing your hands and telling you sorry over and over. They wouldn’t let me stay with you so I had to go for a walk for about fifteen minutes while the procedure was done. I went only to the lobby and sat on a couch and stared at my cell phone clock watching the minutes tick by. I said when it had been ten minutes I would slowly walk back to the waiting room. Then I sat in the waiting room and said when it had been two more minutes I would go back to the urologist door. When I was outside I heard you crying but as soon as I walked up you had stopped. Two minutes later they brought you out to me and you were your same ole studying self. I think the drugs they gave you made you a little loopy so you just did some crazy eyes before dozing off. But that only lasted about 15 minutes. Daddy got there while we were waiting to be allowed to go back to our room and you decided you were ready to nurse again (although it had only been about an hour and a half). Mommy was getting VERY angry at the nurse for taking so long to come get us but she just walked around with you and sang “Bye oh Baby” and you fussed some and slept some. By the time we got back to our room you were VERY upset.

You spent the rest of the afternoon nursing every 1-2 hours and when you weren’t nursing you were sleeping but it was a very fussy sleep. You cried out for about 10 seconds every 30 seconds. I got tired of singing “Bye oh Baby” but couldn’t think of any other songs where I knew all the words except “Whiskey Lullaby” so I sang that. You loved it! I think it was the “La la la la” part. Not exactly an age appropriate song but it was a peaceful melody (when I told Daddy the next day he laughed at me for singing you a song like that). I was SO worried about you because this was a completely different baby than the one I had before. At about 9:30pm after you nursed I got you to sleep finally and the nurse came and took you to the nursery where you must have slept very hard because she didn’t bring you back until almost 2am! Mommy needed that rest but by 1am she was worried about you being hungry. You nursed quickly then fell back asleep and stayed that way until almost 6am

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Roman is THREE Days old!

Highlights Day 4:

Mommy spent the whole morning with you alone- a first! Daddy slept a little later then went grocery shopping and picked up some lunch for us. After you ate at 9am you were alert for almost two hours!! We talked and I walked around with you showing you things in our hospital room. I also read you your first story- “Great Day for Up” by Dr. Seuss. You did awesome at focusing on the pictures. You listened quietly to the whole story!

You saw most of your family today on the webcam. For Nana, Grandaddy, Jonathan, Marty, Wella, Aunt Kirsten, Uncle Jacob, Aunt Jessah, Uncle Braden, Aunt Ayanna, and Bella you were sleeping but after we changed you and fed you you were wide awake when we talked to Yaya, Aunt Hannah, and Uncle David. Mommy cried when Aunt Jessah and Aunt Ayanna sang “Bye Oh Baby Roman” to you on the camera (they are only 3 years old).

Today has been my favorite day (and least favorite) so far! You were just so alert- for almost 2 hours in the morning with Mommy then another hour and a half with Daddy in the afternoon. We both loved having our own “play time” with you. Daddy spent his singing you Metallica songs and army cadences. He also made you march around and do army drills (attention, about face, forward march, etc)- we have it on video and it’s adorable. You actually looked like you loved it (that’s our Army Brat)! At one time Mommy even heard Daddy singing you an awesome country song called “Lucky Man” which is about a man realizing how lucky he is to have a wife, child, home, etc. I don’t think Daddy knew I could hear him because he was singing it so softly but I did and I cried. Since I didn’t want him to be embarrassed or stop I blamed it on being homesick and the hormones.

Mommy asked Daddy when he wanted to go on our first date this week since everyone said start date night the first week or you never will. Daddy looked shocked and said he wasn’t sure. I said well it’s probably up to Aunt Jen (Mommy’s friend and our neighbor) when she feels up to babysitting since she’s getting back from vacation this week. Daddy asked, “When was the last time Jen’s taken care of a newborn though??” with a panicked voice. “Um Matt- she has a two year old so it hasn’t been long…” I laughed at him. Then he was worried about you getting hungry and needing a bottle (since we aren’t starting you on a bottle until after two weeks) and I explained we could just go right after I fed you and be back before your next feeding (3 hours max)- I told Daddy, “Babe I just mean going out to eat or something- not going out and partying!” but he was so scared you would get hungry and cry non stop and Jen wouldn’t be able to feed you. Daddy still looked so sad and worried and kept looking down and kissing you (you were on his chest) so I asked if he would feel better if we postponed date night until AFTER you started on a bottle. He looked so relieved you’d have thought I just told a dying person he was going to live!

Oh the hormones! I’ve cried so much today! At my usual times such as when Daddy has to leave or when they take you to the nursery at night but I also cried talking on the webcam to my own little brothers and sisters and again when I talked to my godmother- your Grandma. I cried randomly in our room several times, in the bathroom, and walking down the hall. I’m tearing up right now- for no reason!! Ugh it’s been rough. Oh yeah and I also cried just about every time I looked at Daddy holding you and seeing how beautiful you are and how much Daddy loves you. I do too.
This night went very great! I fed you at 9pm and the nurse forced me to send you to the nursery then (I guess it looked liked I needed the sleep bad…) and you stayed in there until 2am! Then you ate your usual time (about 25 minutes) and then passed right back out like a good boy. You went back to the nursery at 2:30am and they brought you to me (still asleep) at 5:30 but you stayed asleep until 6am and again- you ate like a champ with no latching on problems! WHOO!!

Today I thought about how soon you would be one week old then one month then one year and of course I cried. I don't want you to grow up!!

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Roman is Two Days Old (Highlights Version)

Roman Day 3

Ok I think yall are tired of the play by play right? I’m sure. Rereading it I’m thinking dang to anyone but me this is SO boring! So now we’ll go to the Sports Center Highlights edition of Roman’s life.

Highlights for Day 3:

Mommy changed her first diaper (well first being Roman’s haha)! Nice poopy one of course but that didn’t scare Mommy. :-)

Breastfeeding was ok. Had to use the shield on one nipple this morning but not at lunch (whoo!) It hurt like the dickens when he first got on but the pain goes away. Sometimes. Definitely will be seeing the lactation consultant (note to self- call one on Monday!) about latching on.

Mommy pooed- whoo!! That is so gross but my friends that are childless and claiming baby fever need to know- it ain’t all cute clothes and snuggles. Oh and all of you reading this (or most of you…not sure who reads anymore!) know me and know I don’t hold back on the info. Tacky? Or just honest?… you decide. ;-)

Roman has visitors! Today your very first visitor was our unit chaplain Ben Clark who stopped by for a minute just to check you out. Next came Krista Kennaugh who threw Mommy’s baby shower (and Mommy babysits her five boys!) Last was Kara Jacobs and her three daughters- Becca, Sarah, and Emma. Everyone loved holding you and commented on how beautiful and perfect you are (which we already knew but it was nice to hear)!

Daddy Bear shows up- Daddy said he didn’t like that other people were holding you today. He said he felt like he wanted to yell at them “Be Careful!” the whole time. He loves you. :-)

At night, before Daddy went home, we changed your diaper. You were poopy but we felt confident we could handle it. As we were changing you on Mommy’s bed you decided you weren’t quite finished pooping. Nice runny greenish black poop just kept squirting out in little puffs as soon as we would get you clean! Finally we got you changed…it just took about a million wipes to do it!

After your 2am feeding you passed out for about five minutes then woke up and you were alert for over an hour- a first! Mommy loved snuggling and talking to you while you stared at her but after an hour she was tired (well really she just felt bad for her roommate who was trying to sleep) so she swaddled you, gave you a paci and rocked you and you passed back out in a few minutes. I felt so guilty because I wanted to play with you too but knew I needed my rest (and so did my hospital roommate).

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Roman is One Day Old!

Roman is one day old!

The Angel Nurse took out my catheter which for some reason hurt really bad (she said it shouldn’t have) and had me walk to the bathroom. She was acting shocked at the pain I was in but I don’t think she realized I was unmedicated for the entire night. I made it into the bathroom where I was able to wash up again and brush my teeth. Then she had me sit on the toilet and try and pee. No luck- and it hurt where the catheter came out so she said she’d ask the Dr for other pain meds. I got back to bed and the Angel Nurse brought me my breakfast and pain meds and then later on she came back and offered me another form of pain meds that actually worked pretty well. Matt was there by all this so he was holding Roman and I was able to relax, tried breast feeding but booger wouldn’t wake up, pump, and nap until the nurse came back for that next attempt at peeing. Apparently while napping lots of nurses, cleaning people, and Tricare people stopped by and enjoyed my impersonation of a lumber jack. Oh well. I made a peepee in the potty (Look Who’s Talking Now) and while the nurse was praising me I thought “you know, becoming a mom (at least after a c-section) is like growing up again. You take your first steps, your first pee in the potty, your first meal, your first poo in the potty all the while people are cheering and praising you like you were two.” Anywho after doing the potty dance (in my head) I had lunch and watched Matt take about an hour (ok just exaggerating- half an hour) to change a poopy diaper with the nurse’s help. Too cute. I pumped again (because my son would not wake up) and didn’t get as much this time. However later when the nurse went to clean the pump she saw the 1.5mil (combined) still in the bottle and she showed me how to let him take sips right out of it! Amazing. So Roman’s already drinking from a cup- damn my kid is gifted. Matt returned from his millions of errands (for me- love you babe) and he and I just hung out. We watched some Army Wives- well he held Roman and cuddled next to me on the bed while watching- I slept on his shoulder. After I fed Roman for the 2nd time successfully (and to me that’s without the stupid nipple shield and with him constantly sucking not having to be woken up every 30 seconds) Matt left for the night. He wanted me to send Roman to the nursery so I could get some sleep but I felt guilty sending a perfectly good sleeping baby there so I promised I would send him if he woke up. Which of course he did about 25 minutes later. The room was pitch black and I just pulled him in bed with me and I could tell his eyes were open but as soon as he was next to me he stopped fussing. He had a lot of gas so I think he just wanted to be comforted (Mom felt the same way kid don’t worry). But I knew I wouldn’t sleep like that so I cuddled him and loved on him while I paged the nurse. I don’t know what it was but while we waited on the nurse I just felt such a connection with him. It was amazing that the simplest thing of holding him next to me was all he wanted. I was all he wanted. Crazy, insane, amazing feeling. So of course the nurse came and took him and I told her he should want to eat at about midnight and she said she’d bring him when he was ready (grr) and away he went. And I cried again. Then I passed out hard. I slept for about an hour on each side then tossed for an hour before getting up to use the bathroom. It was 1:30am at this point and I was debating what to do- should I page them to bring him back? Just relax and sleep? Pump? Ahh this breastfeeding thing is so confusing. Getting situated in bed is such a big ordeal (pain wise) that I knew as soon as I did and got comfy he’d be back. Whatdaya know. A little after 2am she came in with him and I struggled getting him latched on so she offered to help. As soon as she grabbed my breast I though Oh lord another smoker- what the hell?? What is it about the night nurses and their nicotine habit? Find another way to stay awake or get a different job. Anyways she yanked and tugged on me and I tried to tell her that it doesn’t work that way with my nipples. When they’re inverted if you pinch and pull they just invert further- you have to push them out. Weird I know but anyways we finally got him latched on (using the stupid shield because the nurses have no patience with my boobies) and he fed for about 15 minutes but was too sleepy for the other side. I was worried about this but the nurse informed me that my milk was enough to fill him up and we’d just do the other side next time. Milk? Sure enough I looked in my breast shield and whatdaya know? There’s MILK in it! My milk came in quick! She asked if he could go back to the nursery and while I didn’t think I would sleep more I agreed. I chugged half a quart of chocolate milk Matt had brought (oh I have a cooler in my room with me. The nurses think it’s hilarious but the chief of OB said he loved it and that he totally understood being from Paraguay. Guess they like cold drinks and ice too) and then surprising fell asleep for another two hours. Roman came back at about 5:30am but was still asleep (I guess that’s when they bring babies back anyways? No idea.) so the nurse said let him sleep until 6:30 before waking him to feed. Yeah right lol. Soon after she left he began fussing so I fed him again- another successful time. I seem to do better alone. We snuggled in bed with him on his tummy on my chest looking adorable (don’t worry I snapped pix) for the next couple hours until the morning nurse came in to do breakfast and vitals. Heavenly. I was amused again with the fact that even though I had only gotten about 5 hours of broken sleep that night I was actually fine and happy to just stare at my baby. He’s like the best TV show or movie in the world.

And that’s the end of Roman’s second 24 hours!

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