My beautiful baby is ONE WEEK!

Day 8 (ROMAN IS ONE WEEK!)

Another VERY VERY hard night. So bad Mommy had to just hand you to Daddy while she went to your nursery and rocked herself while she called Nana. She cried to Nana and Nana talked her down and prayed with her. I gave in and just held you in bed and tried my best to sleep (you slept awesome) for three hours. That helped me feel slightly rested but then you still wouldn’t sleep after the feeding for another almost two hours til your next feeding! Finally at 8am Daddy (who had slept while I was holding/feeding you) took you downstairs and rocked you and let you sleep in your swing for an hour and a half. Then when you woke up he rocked you again and watched Cars with you. Mommy slept wonderfully but RIGHT at your next feeding time I woke up.

After feeding you I laid you in your crib and let you watch your mobile. You only fussed some but it took you about 30 minutes to fall asleep then you slept for almost two hours! I want to put you in the crib tonight but our video monitor doesn’t work and I’m so terrified you’ll choke or stop breathing and I wouldn’t know it. Definitely investing in lots of high tech stuff now! I never thought I'd be like that with my own baby. Same with letting you "cry it out"- I've never had a problem with other babies crying it out but hearing you breaks my heart and makes me feel this guilt like I never knew exsisted.

Met with lactation consultant- Heidi Smith- who was wonderful. She helped show Mommy a better way to get you latch on so you didn’t hurt me as much and so you would swallow more. We are still practicing but we’ll get the hang of it! After she left Daddy went to change you upstairs and once again I heard more yells from him. I ran up the stairs and you had peed in your own face!!! He was so scared that you were blinded but we just wiped you down with wipes and got you changed up and you were happy as could be.

Went on another shopping trip today to look for a video monitor. No luck. We will find one ASAP though…in the meantime I was given lots of advice that we are going to try tonight. As I type you are laying on the couch sleeping so I’m hoping you’ll be slightly better tonight (a 2 hr stretch is all I’m asking for). It’s very hard to watch or listen to you cry and it makes me cry over and over but just looking at you makes me feel so amazing. You are so beautiful in every way. I love you more than I ever thought possible. We will get through this!